Transactions, Conversations, and Relationships

Great weekend at BloggerCon.  In addition to meeting some outstanding folks throughout the sessions, a huge highlight was the after-conference dinner on Saturday night.  Had great conversations with Doc Searls, Jerry Michalski, Elisa Camahort, and Richard Mendel-Black at the Fish Market in Palo Alto.

The "a-ha" moment was a story that Doc told over dinner, relating a plane flight he recently had during which he ended up sitting next to a Nigerian gentleman named Sayo Ajiboye.  Apparently after hearing about some of the writing he had done, Ajiboye turned to Doc and said something to the effect of "you get it, much more than most people."

He then proceeded to explain what he meant.

The cultural difference, he said, boiled down to the following.  In the West, a vast majority of business is concentrated on one and only one thing…the transaction. 

For his culture, business relies on the transaction, yes, but also two other things:  the conversation and the relationship.  These three pieces work together, almost as a stack; the transaction is the lowest level and leads to the conversation, which results in a relationship.  When two individuals are interacting, all three of those levels are in play.

It sounds simple, until the impact really becomes clear with the following:

"In this model, the conversation is used to develop not just the relationship, but also the transaction.  Everything about the transaction, including the price, must be mutually discovered."

Think about that for a second. 

"Everything about the transaction, including the price, must be mutually discovered." 

The visual that pops to mind here is an archeological dig, where the transaction itself is an artifact that needs to be carefully uncovered and collaboratively dusted by the participants before its form can be seen by either of them.

With this model, the seller and buyer may mutually discover that the price should be lower, because of the circumstances and their effect on the relationship.  With this model, the buyer and seller may mutually discover that the price should be higher, because it will make things better for both of them down the road.

Without all three parts, something is missing.

Update:

Second ‘graph above updated with Sayo Ajiboye’s name. Original version stated “a gentleman.”