No, We Don’t Sell A 186,000 Mile-Per-Second Death Ray

“Here we are one day, a small company in Corvallis, OR (on a holiday!) manufacturing and selling outdoor recreation equipment, then the next day we’re asked to be experts on everything from terrorism to the Patriot Act.” – Noah Acres, Sales & Marketing, Bigha

Bigha’s doing a great job explaining to customers their (non)-involvement in the laser-on-the-airliner story. He also posts the full transcript of an interview he had with a belligerent interviewer.

“I could tell this wasn’t going to be a friendly article by the line of questioning. I kid you not, this is pretty much how it went:

Jim Wright: “Mr. Banach is facing 20 years in prison for pointing his Jasper at planes, and I go to your site and the first thing I see is photos of it pointed towards the sky.”

Noah Acres: “Anyone can tell the difference between a star and a plane. In order to point at a plane, you’d have to point, and then actually follow it. This guy put effort into this.”

JW: “I just think your site could be more clear.”

NA: “How could it be more clear. We state explicitly not to point towards they eyes of people or animals and to avoid vehicles and aircraft. This is stated on our site and in the manual that comes with the Jasper.”

JW: “But what if somebody points at a bird?”

NA: “We say not to point at animals. A bird is an animal.”

JW: “That’s up for debate.”

NA: “I would classify a bird as an animal.”

JW: “But if you look in the dictionary, a bird is not actually an animal.”

NA: “I think most people consider birds to be animals. I can’t put the enitre world species list on my site.”

JW (in not-satisfied tone): “OK, thanks. Bye.”

If you look at the site today, you’ll notice we put up a new warning on the Jasper homepage. “Warning: Do not point Jasper at aircraft, motor vehicles, people or animals.” Or birds. Or dolphins. Or zebras…”