Persistent Conversations And Relationships

A few thoughts, continuing the discussion started here.

• A conversation is a set of exchanges of information.
• A relationship is an implicit or explicit agreement to have continued conversations in the future.
• Persistent conversations can form the basis of the relationships between members of a social network.

In the article Managing Long Term Communications: Conversation and Contact Management, the authors note a wide variety of techniques that their interview subjects used in order to remember what they had committed to doing next to hold up their end of the conversation. All of the typical modes you would expect were exhibited: everything from handwritten notes to online diaries to sticky notes to writing crib notes onto body parts (hands, usually, but I s’pose other parts would work as well).

This is where the tools come in. Contact Management or CRM systems, etc., should be used to manage these conversations. But that’s not how these systems are thought of or, frankly, used. Contact management systems are typically used as a Rolodex; stagnant, frozen, and one-dimensional — what are the person’s digits? A subtle shift in thinking, however, leads to show that instead of merely acting as repositories for the mechanical contact aspects (phone number, email address, etc.), these systems could be used to understand where one is in an ongoing conversation, what has been said, who’s turn it is to speak next, and when it should be said. Subtle, but critically important. Most of these systems have the capabilities to track notes…but the big “a-ha!” comes in when those notes are no longer thought of solely as relics to be filed away, but instead are thought of as the “placeholder” in an ongoing dialogue.

Now, that being said, equally important as the ongoing conversation is that same past record of conversations. Why? Because that conversational record may be important to other members of the network. An example, from the Long Term Communications paper:

“We had a housewarming party where we sent out an invitation and gave everybody three by five cards, and they had to come back with a recommendation. Because we moved into the new neighborhood and we didn’t know plumbers or dentists or doctors or anything…All the recommendations are in here. And people know we have this list now, and so they call us up to recommend an X. And so we’re becoming sort of a local knowledge group because we did this at our housewarming.”

So, in this case, the fact that these participants held onto the conversational record transformed the newbies in the neighborhood into the neighborhood experts for all things domestic.

What does this all mean? Once the conversation’s started, keep it going (and know if you have the responsbility to do so). And as it unfolds, know where it has been, as that knowledge can easily be the basis of the next conversation.